Have you ever felt that you are living in between two different identities? Stay with me here…..I promise, I’m not talking multiple personalities. Although, some might say I exhibit just that at times. I am saying, we all have moments of identity reinvention. For some, it comes naturally because we become married or divorced, changing our names and naturally creating a “new” identity. For others, the reinvention may occur as a result of a major life impact, whether through a medical diagnosis, trauma impact, or a version of therapeutic breakthrough. Whatever the cause, identity reinvention is a real thing. I have witnessed so many go through it; some gracefully, and some kicking and screaming every inch of the way. Perhaps it is yet another casualty of divorce that I have more awareness of these sorts of personal evolutionary changes. In some ways it can be freeing to have a reinvention. In others, it feels like something that was forced, as if the only way to put the past behind is by reinventing oneself. In any event, I find myself playing a balancing act. I officially took back my given name at birth. It is a natural reinvention in what has been a years long transformation. Seems simple enough, but woah…..it is far from simple. I am now living between two identities. One was given to me at birth, while the second was chosen by me at 21 years of age when I became married. Now, at nearly 50 years old, I am reassuming my original, and now chosen, name. Others around me are starting to honor the change and call me by my new name but I catch myself introducing myself as my old name. It feels so natural to be who I was born to be, yet the old name just will not go away from the roll off my tongue. Bizarre! It is so much like being caught between two identities. I know who I am and who I want to be but I cannot shake who I was for so many years. Does anyone relate? On another note, I am wondering if anyone has changed their names recently. I waited quite a few years because I was under the impression that one’s social security number was the golden key to changing anything else. Nope. Apparently, obtaining a driver’s license and changing your name on a mortgage requires something different. They say that a social security card does not suffice to show the change…..rather you must have a certified birth certificate or a court stamped and certified divorce document….not the e-versions with signatures. No….only the wet signature versions. It is the craziest thing to me. Your social is your identity and every entity on the planet asks for it to get a mortgage or credit card or loan…..BUT, if you want to change your last name on any of those same things, the social no longer is the gold standard. So weird. Anyway, that is just my rant for the moment. Let me circle back to living between two identities. For those who have grown children, let us say twenty-one years old and above, I wonder how many of you feel similarly. The college years provide a small transition into the parents’ reinvention but once the kiddos graduate, I feel like we are thrown into a whole new world. We are like toddlers trying to figure out the big ‘ole world again. For twenty-one years, our identities were that of parent and our worlds quite consumed with providing for our kids. But then, it’s like see ya, good luck, I’m out! The kid is gone and the young adult emerges. They are off to forge their own path and we are now left figuring out what we like to do when we are not at work……you know, free time. Remember that word? You probably haven’t experienced that in quite some time so now must become reacquainted. So, reinvention occurs again! Funny enough, as we reinvent, our now grown kids wonder who we are as well. We are between two identities…..the us our kids knew and the us we have now become. It is fun, scary, exciting, and freeing all at the same time. I guess no matter where we are in life, there is always the opportunity to seek reinvention. Enhancement is not a bad thing. Perhaps it is true what we heard growing up when the “elders” would say that with years comes wisdom. It may be because with years comes reinvention as we learn what is important. I am hoping that is the case. May I become wiser, happier and more fun as I continue the path to reinvention. Hope my now grown kids enjoy the ride with me and maybe pick up a few morsels of wisdom along the way.