The struggle is real. Do you ever feel like you’re living in an alternate universe? I sometimes feel like I hear words come out of my mouth and I just don’t believe they are me actually speaking them. Yet, I cannot stop myself. Is it possible that one can be so exhausted from being overextended that one literally cannot function at a sane capacity? I am truly asking. I would love to hear from those navigating full-time graduate school, while working full-time, while doing a practicum. How did or do you function? What are you doing to keep life sane? Let us throw in the wild west that is secondary school with post-covid children and parents who have been too afraid, or too stretched thin themselves, to hold boundaries with their children. How? Honest to God. The struggle is real. I think I said last time that I feel as though I am more easily annoyed than usual. Honestly, I sometimes wish the world could just be the world according to Colene. I think life would be much simpler that way! Ha! Seriously though……at times, I have questioned why this is my life. Why is this the life the good Lord deemed appropriate for me to live? And, really……why has he not given me the strength to keep my mouth shut and just let things roll off my back? I pray for it. I simply have not received that strength yet! There is so much that I do not know. I have never entered a situation……job, friendship, relationship…. where I believed I was the one in the room with the most knowledge. In fact, I often discount the knowledge I possess. That may seem laughable to some, but it is true. I do, however, have opinions. Whether based in life experience, or in values and beliefs, my opinions are just that….opinions. I was talking to an acquaintance who asked me for my opinion a few weeks ago. It was in reference to teenagers and their general apathy with completion of any task. My opinion? Well, my first answer is that I do not know what the heck is going on with our youth. I do believe that our post-covid world has created a generation that seems unable to function with discomfort or disagreement. It is all or nothing for them. One disagreement and the friendship or relationship is over. How could we possibly move forward if we do not agree on every aspect of every thought or feeling? That is what I hear on a daily basis. Parents, sadly, are just as culpable. They are too afraid to say no to their kids. I kid you not……I hear parents say that they cannot get their child to attend school. I ask, does your child drive? They say yes. I respond with have you considered taking away the car keys? In my experience, kids live for their freedom days and car keys are the gateway to the freedom trail. Removal of keys creates an amazing rebound of motivation for kids. Yet, the response I hear from parents is that they do not want to create discomfort for their kids. Or, it would be inconvenient to have to drive them. Yep, you had kids. You chose the inconvenience. It is more than parents taking on an inconvenience. In some ways, I cannot blame the kids for their apathy. We are too afraid of our children becoming angry or disappointed with us. So, instead, we shield them from any truth of actual life situations. We choose to prevent them from realizing that not everything is rainbows and roses. How dare we even think of making a child realize that parents might have boundaries with one another, or that expenses might be handled separately, or that there are limits to finances, or that there are actual rules by which we all live? I am speaking even of adult children. Yes, we are children forever, even as we grow into functioning adults. Parents never stop worrying. For any young parents out there with young children, I have a public service announcement. Worrying does not end. It is lifelong. Sorry to burst that bubble, but someone should share the truth. Hard just becomes a different kind of hard. No more terrible twos, but rather the delicate balance of watching decisions be made that are beyond your control. Learning how to bite your tongue so that they learn on their own. Showing them that there are limits to life. Yes, it gets harder in a different way. I am a believer in honesty, even when it creates disappointment. Am I wrong? Probably. But, the world of Colene would take honesty and disappointment over a lack of transparency hiding behind the veil of false truths that insult my capacity to function with reality. I know, I know. I did start this blog by asking how one functions at a sane capacity. Maybe I contradict myself. In the end though, you know I am being honest. I am all over the place. I do not know if others feel the same way…..like a hamster on a wheel….your legs need to keep moving or you will fly off the wheel into oblivion. I suspect I am not alone. I just wish I did not feel so alone. As per usual, this too shall pass and life may correct itself. I do not know what is in store but I am sure I will need to buckle up. As the kaleidoscope turns, so too does life. The picture looks different with every turn. The smallest adjustment changes the trajectory. Keep on turning because you just never know what comes next.