Sometimes in life, we experience unexpected joy. In fact, I would say that the unexpected moments are the most precious. Of course, you do have to be someone who is able to let go of the plan you have in order to embrace the unexpected. I’ve learned to do just that. It hasn’t been a lesson easily embraced. I like structure and order and rules. I thrive on knowing what to expect. Yet, I live in this weird limbo of also craving surprises……meaning, I love to be surprised…..well, I think I do. I haven’t been surprised much in my life, so I guess I don’t really know. I think those closest to me think I wouldn’t like it. Quite the contrary….a surprise means someone thought enough of you to bring some joy to your world. Hence, unexpected joy. You know, I almost titled this post selfish or selfless. It’s as if we are all constantly striving to be selfless, when oftentimes it’s ok to be selfish…..maybe that will be another post because it could be a whole topic of discussion. I have spent the majority of my life giving to others. I don’t regret it…..not one bit. I will always be someone who gives because it’s the heart of who I am. Yet, I’m learning, albeit nearly a half a century into my life, to accept that it is OK to be selfish sometimes. It’s ok to put myself first. To put my needs ahead of anything else. It’s ok to not send that gift, or to not make that call, or to say no to a request, or to hold a firm boundary. Yes, it hurts sometimes to do all of those things, because it feels like it goes against everything that makes me who I am. Yet, the warrior in me says that I need this. I need to make these decisions. I need to embrace the power of no. It’s kind of refreshing when you take the time to truly and fully focus on yourself. I haven’t done that since I was probably a teenager. Don’t get me wrong…..I care deeply…..extremely deeply about others. I care about what makes them happy and I try hard to do what I can to contribute to their happiness. Though, I also try to balance what is making me happy. It is extremely uncomfortable. I hear about how others are disappointed that I haven’t done something they expected of me. Yet, those same people haven’t reached out to tell me what was expected, nor have they asked how I value things in my life today. You see, it takes two to tango. Rarely are we living this life in a vacuum. Yin and Yang is a real thing. It happens with every single relationship in our lives…….family, friends, loved ones……all people with whom we have any interaction. Never are relationships formed or maintained by one person……it requires two. Coming full circle to where I started……unexpected joy. It’s in the holding of boundaries and saying no that I have found the most unexpected moments of joy. I’ve had the best few weeks and they were so very unexpected. Lots of work, challenges, adversity, triumph, caring and support all lumped into a set of weeks……the outcome unexpected and joyful. I’ve watched as others are made to feel as though the decisions they make are not thoughtful of others. Truth is that those decisions simply didn’t benefit the ones getting upset. At some point, everyone must learn to move on from past hurt, and realize that you may not be involved in every aspect of every person’s life. And that’s ok. It’s ok to not be invited to that dinner or that you aren’t texted regarding someone’s every thought. It’s ok for us to share everything with only one person and not others. For, it should be with the person you hold closest that everything is shared. And from that connection comes the most unexpected joy.