There’s a phrase often used in the south……..come to Jesus. We are going to have a “come to Jesus” about a situation. What is meant by this phrase? I’ve always understood it to mean that Jesus was honest, true and selfless. So a “come to Jesus” means we are going to have to speak our truth. How many people are truly, truly able to have their “come to Jesus” moment? I would argue that number is very small. We hide behind fear, uncertainty, feelings of inadequacy…..you name it. It’s so much easier to sit in the middle than to take a stand. So, so much easier. I often wonder why I was born this way. I’m a woman who has such a difficult time sitting in the middle. I stand strong on so many things. Yet, I’m also a relational person. I would say most in my life would describe me as someone who is able to get along with just about anyone. I can carry a conversation with people from any background. I’ve said in my dating profile that I am able to talk to the janitor and the CEO, with little distinction between the two. We are all people and we all have a story. I don’t care about the money you make, or the job you hold. I care about your heart. I care about what it is you stand for. On what principles will you hold your values? That’s what is important to me. I care about how you make other people feel. Here’s the problem with people like me. I care so much more about others, at the expense of myself. I allow myself to become an afterthought for every single person in my life. While I pray, and oh do I pray, that I am the priority for someone in my life, it never is as important to me as how that person feels. While I say that, it doesn’t mean I don’t still wish, deep in my heart, that I am on someone’s mind. That being on someone’s mind means they text me just to check in……that they don’t envision a day without talking to me, without seeing me……that they don’t show up at my house just to see me because when you have strong feelings for someone, you show it. Maybe I’m naive…..or delusional…..verdict may still be out on that one. I don’t do halfway with anything. At work, I often wish I could be that individual contributor who kept her nose down and just put in her time doing what was expected and nothing more. But that’s not me…….not by a long shot. I don’t know how to be halfway in with anything. I have to give it all I’ve got. So at work, I try to balance doing what is right for kids and working for systemic change to recognize the tremendous mental health needs of our students…..of our teachers…..of our families. Yes, that means, I come to work well before I am expected to be there and I stay well after others leave. I work at night. I work on the weekends. I’m always learning and trying to figure out new ways to tackle an old problem. I listen and I pay attention. I absorb the emotional turmoil of others and hope that they may find a silver lining with whatever plagues them for the day. You know, I work at a place that endured a shooting, then a pandemic, and now a world where there aren’t enough people to do the work needed. It’s a pressure cooker, but also so incredibly rewarding. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, for I know that my presence has been carefully crafted. I have a “come to Jesus” almost daily…..whether with a student, a parent, a colleague, or wait for it…..myself. Yes, I need to have a “come to Jesus” with myself at times. I need to be reminded why I’m doing the things I’m doing. What is my purpose? There are days I ask that very question. I still don’t know the answer. I give everything I have…..at the expense of my health, my sanity, my heart. Don’t get me wrong…..I’m happy, most of the time. I’ve been reminded lately that I can’t do it all. My health has been an issue….it’s kicking my ass. Most don’t see it, because I still show up. I still give. I still work. I still provide. I still put aside what I need, because others are so much more important. I just pray for the moment that someone sees me…..and I mean, really sees me. Until then, I will keep showing up and putting everyone else ahead of myself. For if I’m able to give one person the ability to see the great qualities within, then my purpose is fulfilled. It does require that I’m willing to look at my own inadequacies within, and appreciate what I have to offer others. My “come to Jesus” is happening……daily.