Warning! A LONG post ahead. I posted something long and raw many months ago when I had two friends experiencing difficult times. Here I am again prompted to write because so many go through tough moments. If there’s anything I can do for you, please know my door is always open….my phone is always on (well mostly), and I’m ready to listen. We ALL have stuff, and yours isn’t any less than…..

Be careful making assumptions about people. You don’t know the full story of someone’s life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…..social media is incapable of depicting the intricacies of one’s life. Human nature is to share what’s good in our lives. Seriously, who wants to hear the negative?! Yet, we become so quick to make assumptions both about what we see on the surface and the minuscule pieces of life we know about someone. Why is it that we feel the need to judge and make blanket assumptions? I’d love to know that answer. I see friends going through difficult times financially, medically, emotionally……relationships that have fractured under the immense pressures over the last few years. I SEE these friends. I FEEL their pain….though if you walked by these same friends in a store, they would appear as though life is a walk in the park and all is well. You may not know that the couple you love to hang out with has no passion for one another, and they live like roommates. You may not know that this person’s husband is addicted to pornography or alcohol. You may not know that a coworkers murder led to an illicit affair, which in turn caused a ripple effect of circumstances from a job loss, to a move, to a lawsuit, and more that devastated the financial, emotional and medical stability of a relationship. Sounds like a movie, right? Yet….that’s someone’s reality. You may not know that when a person brings home the groceries and the door shuts, there are items thrown against a wall inches from their head because someone became angry. You may not know that a long term hospitalization caused a family to deplete their savings and further severed an already cracked relationship. You may not know that for years, a person was yelled at simply for expressing an opinion or feeling. You may not know that your friend has been dealing with a medical issue for many years and has chosen to keep it hidden. You may not know that your separated, soon to be divorced or divorced friend spends every single day fighting for love when they’ve been given every reason to lose faith in their happily ever after coming to fruition. You may not know that a friend is feeling like their financial plan doesn’t measure up to what society tells us it should. Yet, we see a person who dresses well, drives a nice vehicle, is intelligent, is compassionate, has great manners, has a kind heart, and puts a smile on their face every single day. They go to church, pray for trust in God’s plan, and have a tremendous faith. This person has drive, grit, perseverance and determination to “succeed.” They have a genuine ability to build interpersonal relationships and show authenticity. This person possesses a level of empathy envied by so many, but it came at a price within their own lives. You see, on the outside these people appear so well put together. We whisper to ourselves, man I wish I could have that life, or they have it so easy. On the inside, what we can’t see, is a woven trail of scars that have created the kindest heart though unimaginable pain and sadness. This story…..these stories…..they are the intricate stitching within the fabric of each of our lives…..stories we don’t tell because we don’t want to sound as if we are complaining or being negative or ungrateful for our lives. So when you encounter a kind-hearted person, or a person with some rough edges, maybe take a moment to hold back the assumptions. Realize their walk to get here may have been a marathon of years. I don’t know if I was just going through the motions before, but I really see people now….or at least I try. I see what their difficulties are; how much they’ve overcome. I rarely sit on the surface with my friends and those I care about. Let’s be honest….I rarely sit on the surface with strangers. I ask the deeper questions. I want them to ask me. To truly know someone is to care enough to ask the difficult questions, and to be prepared for the depth and possibly heartbreaking answers. It’s being willing to accept that a response may be tough to provide in the moment. Maybe a response isn’t needed. Often, just a hug, a smile, a look that can’t be mistaken for anything other than a deep caring for that person is all that’s needed.

My prayer for everyone is that you find that undeniable love for another that when you lock eyes, you feel that indescribable connection. I pray you take a chance on that new opportunity…..that new job….that new relationship….that new puppy….because you never know the kinds of blessings that may come from simply taking a chance and believing in yourself. I pray you know your worth and trust that God has a plan for you. Trust that your future is in His hands and that He will provide. My prayer is that you trust in who you are and who you are meant to be. Know that the past, the blanket assumptions made by others, the difficulties….they don’t define you. All you’ve experienced surely shapes who you’ve become….but it isn’t who you are. There’s a phrase, a verse, a song that stays with me. I am who YOU say I am. Whether or not you’re a person of faith, I am…..and I believe that you are who God made you to be. I don’t make assumptions….I don’t judge….I know there are so many layers to who we all are. I don’t need to share your political views….I don’t need to react to things the way you react…..I don’t need to have what you have….I just need to be me. I’m more than enough….and so are you! Hugs to my friends who are walking a difficult path right now. Your time is coming. I know it. I believe it.